While On Life's Journey.....

SAM is one of the souls I have been privileged to meet along my life's journey. As we walk on the same path together, I have invited Sam to be a guest blogger with the hope that he will realize his spirit, inspire others, and recognize his purpose. This is his journey. Your comments will be forwarded to him from MaxFabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com
______________________________________________
Sam XIV Personal Intentions and Desires

In my previous reflection I talked about my intentions and desires, but kinda got sidetracked and did not speak about specifics. In this reflection I will speak more specifically about what are my personal intentions and desires. An Intention to me is something that I intend to focus my attention on so as to manifest it in my life. A desire is something that I want. Sometimes they are confusing to me and almost seem the same thing. Anyway here is a list of the ones I am creating in my life. They are not in any particular order just a list of what I want to create and manifest in my life. I have creative control of them and we will see how they all come about! Anyway here is the list of things I am consciously creating in my life on a daily basis.
Intentions and Desires

1. I am going to write a book about my life’s passions and how and what I have learned. It will be a book that will help others, benefit the planet and myself and it will sell well. I will be a book that deals with spiritual issues on a personal as well as global level.

2. I am going to go to school to learn how to utilize my special gifts, to help others, the planet, and myself. I will learn and grow and expand what I learn through school to become the person I am meant to be.

3. I am creating a career that involves helping others in a safe, supportive, healthy environment. I will be creative, spirit driven, and use my hands in the process. I will make enough money to cover my debts, live life comfortably and healthily and be able to travel, as well as, have fun with Christina and others.

4. I intend to live with others who are healthy, spiritual and supportive or by myself. I do not want to live with someone who is not healthy and not open to growth and development on a personal and spiritual level.

5. I am creating a life of conscious living and loving in the present. I am creating a world of love and therefore I need to begin within. Within myself and within my community just like the ripples in a pond after you throw a rock in it. It all starts within and moves outward. So I am creating love and letting the love ripples move outward. I am starting with the ones closest to me, and watching as it moves out into the world. I continue to work on this one with myself and a few special people out there, you know who you are! ;)

These are my intentions and desires as far as I could come up with. I want to live, work and be in a healthy, supportive and spiritual environment. I want to be the person I am meant to be. I want to help others to be who they are meant to be. I am implementing several things to help me along this path. These things are Writing, Community, Music and other art forms, and Physical exercises.

__________________________________________________
Learn more about LIFESTYLE CHANGES at
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

LIFESTYLE CHANGES is a proud Pioneer Member of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION: http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

SAM is one of the souls I have been privileged to meet along my life's journey. As we walk on the same path together, I have invited Sam to be a guest blogger with the hope that he will realize his spirit, inspire others, and recognize his purpose. This is his journey. Your comments will be forwarded to him from MaxFabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com
____________________________________________

Intentions and desires…Sorta? Maybe Part 1? A new hope? No, that one has already been taken. ;)

I have made a list of “what I want” as my friend Richard suggested. It is kinda personal in that it is about myself and I have to admit it seems kinda self centered and greedy, but It is not all about me. It is about me becoming a more productive and functioning person on the planet to help myself and others and the planet as a whole. I have thought about these desires for a while now and have fine-tuned them a bit. I am ready to have them become manifest in my life and to create them in my life. I was about to say work on them but it is not necessarily about working on them as much as letting go of control so as to allow them to happen in my life. I am the captain of my own ship and I have not accepted that title much in the past. I have allowed myself to be led or pushed or manipulated in the past so I am not overly confident of my abilities to pilot this ship. I still feel I am in kindergarten in some ways even though I am now over 50. That is changing as I become more aware of my ego and how it plays little tricks to get me to do certain things. I have listened to it far too long and now am at this point in my life that I have to stand up and say no more! I have to take charge in a way I was not taught as I was growing up as a child. I am learning that the world I was taught does not exactly exist in some ways. I now have a new way of thinking and I need to use it instead of listening to my ego or my negative messages. They are kinda the same thing though. Thanks to the help of some really smart and loving and caring individuals, both living and dead, I have been given a lot of the tools to make these changes. I just have to pick them up, use them and stop making excuses and rationalizations. I need to do this not just for myself but also for others. I have people in my life who are counting on me but I am also there counting on myself too. I have read, and I am sure I will continue to read, many different books but they are espousing a lot of the same philosophies and ideas about what to do to change your life and wake up to who you, or in my case, I am or are as the case maybe. I cannot continue to do the same things expecting different results. I have to do different actions if I want to get different things. I am making some effort and taking some actions but one of my personality characteristics still happens to be impatience. Sooooooo I realize this will take a lil bit of time but I always seem to want it tomorrow. I need to remember, and all the angels in my life point this out to me very often that everything happens for a reason and at the right time. There are no mistakes or wrong timings. Everything happens in perfect time. It is just whether I want to see certain things and therefore take different paths. Sooooo It comes back to awareness, being awake, alive, attentive and focused on my intentions and desires. Sorta comes full circle, kinda in a way. Sorta a long trip sometimes but I usually get back to the point. Soooo Fellow travelers I am alive, awake, attentive, alert and focused today on the four agreements, my intentions and desires, taking action, and oh yea being aware. I will talk specifically about my intentions and desires in my next blog or as my best friend and I came up with…Reflections. Anyway I will talk more about them in my next Reflection. Until then I hope YOU are all alive and well and working on creating a world of peace, love, happiness, and joy in your life as well as others. Be well, peace and Namaste to all!
SEE YA ON THE ROAD,
SAM
__________________________________________________
Learn more about LIFESTYLE CHANGES at
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

LIFESTYLE CHANGES is a proud Pioneer Member of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION: http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

I am often asked to explain “substance withdrawal” both to family members and to the client. Withdrawal is different for each person that has to experience it based on the type of substance used, the quantity, quality, and duration. Let me quote from the DSMIV Made Easy, by Jim Morrison:

“The symptoms of substance withdrawal develop as the concentration of a substance decreases in the user’s brain. The generic criteria for Substance withdrawal are simple: They require only that the patient develop specific symptoms after ceasing to take a substance that has been used heavily for a long time. Stress or impairment must result, and no general medical condition or other mental disorder must better explain the symptoms.”

Symptoms that occur can include, but not limited to: restlessness/immobility, anxiety/irritability/depression, sleep disturbances, fatigue, or changes in appetite, powerful urge to continue using.

Withdrawal depends on the half-life of the substance used. Usually withdrawal will begin within 12 to 24 hours after the last use.

Interestingly, withdrawals from hallucinogens has not been reported. However, hallucinogens can induce dependence.

Learn more about me, MAx Fabry, and my private practice at http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

I am also founder of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION
http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

E-therapy offers a whole new method of providing therapeutic services in a manner that is more efficient and convenient to our modern lifestyle. For individuals too busy, or lacking the resources or ability to visit their local therapist, or quite simply living in regions lacking therapeutic services entirely, a person can instantly find the support they need with the simple push of a button in their living room. Click on the links immediately above for a breakdown of the three methods of e-therapy now available through the internet.

Become a member of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION to learn more about 21st Century counseling.

http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

SAM is one of the souls I have been privileged to meet along my life's journey. As we walk on the same path together, I have invited Sam to be a guest blogger with the hope that he will realize his spirit, inspire others, and recognize his purpose. This is his journey. Your comments will be forwarded to him from MaxFabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com
--------------------------------------------------------------

SAM XII: LOVE Part I?

Well I was thinkin of this subject today when I woke up and so naturally it found its way into my meditation and many things floated by on the stream of consciousness that I experienced. My mind is like a river. Sometimes it flows raging and fast and sometimes it is like a small trickle. Today was more like a river slowly moving! The thought of love came up today and I was thinkin how well it fits in with what I am learning and what I am experiencing in regards to myself and others. How well it plays into all the seven spiritual laws too. I remember hearing somewhere that fear and love cannot survive at the same time. You are either in love or fear but you cannot be in both. I have heard the same about faith and fear. Maybe faith is directly like love or a form of love? As I was meditating on love it came to me how love is a part of life that I am learning a lot about lately. Love of self, love of others, love of a partner, all these are important in life. I have recently begun to fall in love...with myself, a partner and with others. I feel the love very intensely as I seem to do with all feelings. ;) Sometimes I just kinda feel it and let it flow over me, other times I feel it and take action on it, which I recently heard is like an emotion...emotion being energy in motion or ACTION. Feelings are full of energy and when we put that energy in motion it becomes emotions. We emote our feelings into action so to speak? Hmmmmmmm! Well I had heard that before, but I read it again yesterday in a book by Neale Donald Walsch entitled "What does God Want" Interesting book and one that speaks to my thoughts and beliefs. I won’t spoil the intent of the book for you but it is worth the read. Love is something that I have been reading alot about lately so for some reason it must be what I am supposed to be learning about. I have learned that Love is something we all need and crave and have as children and when we get older it is sort of "domesticated" out of us and we forget that we have it. Our job is to remember that we have love and that it is for giving to others and not something to be hidden away inside. Love for me is like cooking, it is more fun when shared with others. And not just with that one special person, but with all people. Of course there are many types of love, but that genuine love, deep caring for another person outside of ourselves is important to share with the planet and all of its inhabitants. Love is like something that takes a lifetime to master and yet is something that we all have inherently inside. Once again awareness is the key and letting go of the things that limit us. Sharing love and kindness, or loving kindness as I have heard it called before, is a powerful thing, a transformational thing. I have experienced some little satoris of this and am striving to make this more of an occurrence in my life and the life of everyone I come in contact with. Sooooo for part one of Love, my challenge is to anyone who reads this to spread loving kindness to everyone you come in contact with. It is sorta like a double dog dare as someone recently reminded me! Thanks again Richard btw! ;) So do i want to live in and spread fear or love? Not a hard choice for me today. How about YOU?
__________________________________________________
Learn more about LIFESTYLE CHANGES and become a guest blogger at
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

LIFESTYLE CHANGES is a proud Pioneer Member of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION: http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________

Dear MAx,
I am so upset! My mother told me that she spent the weekend at a nudist community! She not only told me, but she has also told other people we both know, and who knows who else she told. My mother is 65 years old! She is a retired teacher! What is she thinking?!

Crystal

Dear Crystal,
I cannot know what other people are thinking, but I can look at why people would want to go to a clothes optional community.

First, let’s make a distinction between a nudist and an exhibitionist. An exhibitionist is someone who would want to deliberately attract attention by taking off clothes. A nudist, or naturist, goes without clothing as a social practice; they “embrace the freedom to be without clothes”.

Public condemnation of nudity is probably rooted in the biblical story of Adam and Eve loosing their innocence by eating the forbidden apple. When the pair realized that their bodies were naked they felt, perhaps the first negative emotion, shame. They covered up and, thus, the start of the ever profitable global clothing industry was begun.

The practice of organized nudism started appearing in the US and Canada around the 1920’s, long after Europe and other parts of the world had begun recognizing it as a norm to frequent “nudist colonies” . The American Association for Nude Recreation (ANAR) was started in 1931 as a trusted source of information for nudists and about nudists. Nudists “colonies” are now known as nude resorts, or nude parks; “nude communities” is used to describe all the people that embrace the nudist lifestyle. These resorts and parks have become extremely popular.

A 2003 article in the Wall Street Journal reported that nude tourism was starting to take off in the US. They pointed to Central Florida’s Pasco County as the best place in the country to be nude. Pasco County boasted being home of six nudist resorts and estimated over 100,000 nudists visiting each year adding a significant amount to tourist revenue.

As I was researching this topic, I was having challenges understanding the statistics, so I called on Pat Brown, Past President of ANAR, and a resident of the Willamatans, the largest nudist resort in the Pacific Northwest. She confirmed that ANAR has approximately 50,000 PAID members, but there are several hundreds of thousands non-members served by the 500 clubs and businesses catering to nudists. There are various reasons people choose not to be official members of ANAR. But, within the paid membership, two-thirds of the members are couples, one-third individuals.

Pat also confirmed that there is a trend to the growth of the nudist lifestyle which is being fueled by—you got it!—aging babyboomers. She said that ANAR, as well as individual clubs are seeing younger members who are bringing their children and grandchildren on nakations. Because of the shear number of babyboomers, they will continue to influence trends around the world—including nudist recreation. Nudist housing developments, retirement communities, restaurants, and even Yoga centers are popping up across the US and Canada. Perhaps fueled by the continued buying power, remarkable health, and freedom-thinking of the boomers.

So, Crystal, it may be that your mother is part of the current babyboomer mentality that believe that the possibilities for life are endless. And, perhaps, those possibilities aren’t so much about embarrassing her daughter, but feeling free and young again. I would suggest having a discussion, in your awareness, with your mother about what she needs in this stage of her life, and, how you can support her.

Be well on your journey.

Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.

MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
My family has been devastated by the recent suicide death of my mother. What is so devastating is that we are all well educated, “normal”, productive people who refused to see that someone we loved very much was addicted to prescription pain pills. A few months before she died, a doctor had suggested that she think about entering a detox program—we were outraged that the doctor would think our mother was a drug addict! Now she is not here. How could we all have been so ignorant?

Beth

Dear Beth,
I am so sorry for your loss, particularly under this circumstance. Grieving is a process. It takes time—as much time as you need to go through the process. There are professionals and clergy available that can guide you through this process.

Your outrage at someone suggestion that your mother was a “drug addict” is understandable. Many people stereotype what a “drug addict” is: someone out on the street that is shooting up drugs, smoking pot, or using an array of other illicit drugs readily available. Yet, the fastest growing numbers of drug addicts in the US are getting their drugs from reputable doctors. Prescription drugs are as dangerous as illicit drugs.

According the Center for Disease Control, death from prescription drugs went up 68 percent in five years. The biggest jump was among the 15 to 24 year old age group where prescription drugs are used recreationally. However, there was an astounding over 90 percent jump for Baby Boomers 55 to 64 years old.

Poisoning from prescription drugs has become the second-largest cause of ‘unintentional deaths’ in the US. Often, it is difficult to discern intentional suicide from accidental overdosing.

One of the problems with prescription drugs is that once they are ingested, they aren’t always directed to the pain area where they need to go. For instance, prescription pain medications are engineered to alleviate physical pain. However, some pain medications have unforeseen mental health consequences if they are able to enter the brain.

The brain is protected by a cellular barrier that keeps certain chemicals from circulating in the blood. The Food and Drug Administration does not have specific knowledge of how certain prescription medications affect the brain. Most antidepressants and pain medications come with a warning of “possible suicide risks”. Drug abuse can create new symptoms of mental illness, or, worsen mental illness that is already diagnosed.

Some mental and emotional signs of drug abuse include: unusually talkative, excess energy, increased anger, irritability, agitation, unusual calmness, paranoia, delusions, looking “spaced out”.

While some people that die by suicide do not exhibit any warning signs, approximately 75 percent of suicidal people will exhibit: chronic depression and/or sadness, withdrawing from family and friends, feelings of hopeless, helpless, strong anger/rage, trapped, abuse of drugs and/or alcohol, losing interest in activities, giving away prized possessions, acting recklessly. You can access a complete list of symptoms at suicide.com.

Beth, there is no specific profile of a drug addict; so not recognizing that your mother was in trouble is not unusual. Everyone strives to live in a world where everyone was healthy and addiction of any kind did not exist. As an addiction counselor, I have yet to meet someone that doesn’t know someone that has been afflicted with some kind of addiction. And now your family has been pushed into awareness.

We live in an information age that allows us to have knowledge at our fingertips. Knowledge is power in that it keeps us in awareness. I am sorry that you have been shocked into your awareness by such a tragic event. Having gone through this experience, you may be responsible for saving someone else’s life—simply by writing your letter to me.

Be well on your journey.

Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.

MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________

Dear MAx,
My 30 year old daughter has just met a man that she is crazy about. I am very excited for her. He seems like a nice guy. Unfortunately, her father isn’t as excited. Our daughter has been battling with addiction for most of her adult life. For the past few months she has just been drinking alcohol—no drugs. Her father doesn’t think she is ready to be in a relationship and he fears that she will just end up getting hurt again. I am wondering what you think about her being in a relationship? And, what is my part of this?

Frances

Dear Frances,
I think every mother’s dream is for their daughter to find Prince Charming so she can live happily every after. Dads, of course, are the protectors of the gates leading over the moat to their lovely daughters. It sounds like, in your daughter’s case, the moat is filled with toxic addiction waste that is still bubbling.

Parenting an adult alcoholic is complex and very difficult. I have written a couple columns addressing this issue and offered some strategies. Past copies of my column can be found on my blog at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.

What I would like to address is someone entering into a new relationship while still in active addiction. Healing from addiction is a threefold process: abstinence, recovery, healing. It sounds like your daughter has not yet committed to starting the process. Until someone commits to healing from addiction, sharing their life with someone has many problems.

In Alcoholics Anonymous, the largest addiction support group in the world, it is widely suggested that people in early recovery not enter into a relationship for at least one year. Since people in active addiction are often impulsive, not entering into a relationship can be their first lesson in self-discipline. Within this program, it is said that relationships are probably the number one cause of relapse.

Healthy relationships require a lot of work and require the two parties participating in the relationship to be healthy. Respect and trust are major ingredients of a healthy relationship. People in active addiction and/or in early recovery are still struggling with respecting and trusting themselves; it becomes a stretch to respect and trust someone else.

Intimacy, the main ingredient of a relationship, requires a close bonding of two people based on trust, respect, love, and the ability to share deeply. For someone committing to healing from addiction, they need to start with having a healthy relationship with themselves and their higher power. Then, they can start preparing for a healthy relationship with another person.

Entering into a relationship is not a recovery strategy, it is a distraction.

The other part of your question is what part do you play in either supporting, or not supporting this relationship? As a mother you would love to have your daughter be with someone that brings her joy and happiness. Realistically, if your daughter is continuing to use, how will she return the joy and happiness to a mate? Relationships are reciprocal: each person nurtures the other to grow without smothering or overshadowing. Can your daughter nurture someone else’s life? Since you have probably been experiencing your daughter’s addiction, you are the best person to truthfully answer these questions. And, by answering these questions, you will know what you have to do.

Frances, while you want to see hope for your daughter’s continued healing by being in this relationship, I need to go with Dad on this one and suggest preceding with caution and keeping an eye on the toxic waste level in the moat—when the moat clears up, a healthy relationship might be possible.

Be well on your journey.

Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.

MAx Fabry is also founder of Online Wellness Association: http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

ANNOUNCING AN INNOVATIVE APPROACH TO ADDICTION TREATMENT: HEALTHY HEALING ADDICTION TREATMENT PROGRAM

The HEALTHY HEALING ADDICTION TREATMENT PROGRAM is a comprehensive, multidimensional alternative counseling/coach approach to healing from addiction on an individual basis. This is an outpatient program that requires the client and family to make a minimum of one-year commitment to the program.

Read more about this program at

http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
I recently visited with an addiction counselor about helping me with always relapsing. He has suggested that a head injury I had twenty years ago may be one of the problems I have staying sober. How can that be? For years I have been in and out of residential treatment, I attend support group meetings, and I try to hold down a job. Can an injury I had twenty years ago be the cause for my relapses?

Mike

Dear Mike,
There is still not enough research to clarify the correlation between addiction and traumatic brain injury (TBI). As a counselor that specializes in treating people with addiction that previously had a TBI, I would have to say that there is a definite difference in how the addiction looks and needs to be treated.

The brain is extremely complex; we know more about space and the depths of the oceans then we know about the brain. A TBI is a result of a blow or jolt to the head that disrupts the normal function of the brain. Brain trauma takes on secondary injuries within minutes, days, and years following the injury, resulting in alterations in the blood flow through the brain. Initial research is showing that ongoing deterioration happens within several areas of the brain throughout the aging process. TBI can result in physical, cognitive, emotional, and behavioral effects. There are no two brain injuries that look the same, act the same, or heal the same. So, the approach to treatment is individual.

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that 1.4 million people sustain a TBI each year in the US. TBIs can range from “mild” to “severe” based on the change in mental status and/or period of unconsciousness. The CDC also estimates that at least 2% of the American population currently has long-term or lifelong effects as a result of TBI. The CDC is the best source for updated information about TBI.

The somewhat good news, Mike, is that human beings tend to be extremely resilient. “Resiliency” is the ability to bounce back from traumatic experiences, physical and/or emotional, in our lives. Human beings aren’t taught resiliency, we all have inborn abilities that give us the power to bounce back and recover from setbacks. Your mind and body learn to work together to create either barriers or bridges to develop strengths and abilities that you didn’t know were possible. As I write this, I am thinking of a news clip I recently saw where a young boy learned to play baseball even though he didn’t have fully developed arms.

One of the challenges assessing people with addiction is including asking if they ever had a TBI; often, they have forgotten about it because they have learned to live with the everyday symptoms. Some of these symptoms include: becoming frustrated/anxious when in crowds; inability to effectively multi-task; experiencing overload watching a movie, reading a book, or participating in a group and/or classroom situation. Often, the TBI person will be unaware that they are having seizures, which will interfere with their ability to think clearly.

There are symptoms of TBI that look similar to addiction: the ability to think clearly, agitation, short temper, inappropriate outbursts and sexual behaviors. The addiction diagnosis is complicated by the TBI: which came first, the TBI, or the tendencies toward addictive behaviors? Once I can confirm a TBI with a physician, I will approach the TBI as the primary diagnosis with the addiction as secondary—I believe it makes a difference. For instance, participating in group sessions might increase the frustration level of a TBI person because of all of the oral and visual stimulation—too much to take in too fast which may make processing the information too overwhelming leading to frustration and anxiousness.

Mike, I think that you were very lucky to find someone that recognized that a TBI would make a difference in how you heal from addiction. There are very few counselors in the country that know about the TBI/addiction connection and know how to treat it. With abstinence and patient ongoing counseling, you could lead a very healthy, productive lifestyle. “Patience” is the keyword, the key mindset, and the key approach.

Be well on your journey.

Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career, change, grief and loss, empty nesting, etc. ‘Ask MAx.’ Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.

Sam XI: Race? What Race? Where?

I am figuring out that life is not about being fast. Life is definitely not a race and it doesn’t need to be rushed through. Before I turned 50 I had periods in my life where life was not a hurry, and then somewhere in the past few years I developed this sense of urgency that I had to have it all figured out and planned out. I guess that part of that was due to an insecurity in my life and not sure how it was all going to turn out so I figured I needed to get it all in control and plan everything out right NOW! Since turning 50 I have started to see things a little bit different. I have begun to develop this attitude of non -urgency. I am not in a big rush lately. I have a new mantra it seems. Take it slowly seems a new one for me. I look back and reflect on my childhood and my younger years and realize that life is not about who wins the race it is about quality of the journey for me. Life is definitely a journey not a destination. It is like that Michael Franti song lyric that says, "don’t be a horse race, be a marathon." I am getting messages that I seemed to have forgotten somewhere over the years. Messages like haste makes waste are becoming more important to me. I am more into make memories that last instead of blazing by them without internalizing them. It really is important to stop and smell the roses while you can. I find that when I take things easy and slow that I am more at peace. Everything happens in it's own time and some things take more time than others. I think the important thing to remember is to keep on trudging and moving forward no matter how long it takes. I am finding this out in a few areas of my life lately. A house built fast on shaky ground will not stand the test of time so it is important to make sure the foundation is good and sturdy. I guess maybe because I am getting older and wiser I am able to slow down more and see that I am not in so much of a hurry these days. Sometimes it is three steps forward one step back. When I run and don’t pay attention because of this sense of urgency then I am more likely to fall and then I have to pick myself up and dust myself off whereas if I take it a bit slower and pay more attention then I am less likely to stumble and fall. Anyway I just am not really so much into rushing anymore. I am finding more pleasure and peace when I just take it slow and enjoy the ride. Hmmmm Maybe that is why the first tattoo I got was of a turtle on my arm? I used to be described like that by several people, myself included, when I was younger. Maybe I getting in touch with the inner turtle? Hmmmmmmm. Well fellow travelers if you see a turtle along your journeys stop, smile and think of me! Until later be well, namaste and peace to all!

Sam

SAM is one of the souls I have been privileged to meet along my life's journey. As we walk on the same path together, I have invited Sam to be a guest blogger with the hope that he will realize his spirit, inspire others, and recognize his purpose. This is his journey. Your comments will be forwarded to him from MaxFabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com
--------------------------------------------------------------

Sam X-Life, Love, Kindness and..... FUN

Well fellow travelers here we are again, another day in paradise. I am still learning about life and how it works. There is so much to learn and so many teachers. It is a continual process and never ends. I recently have been becoming aware of just how wonderful life is in general and how beautiful my life is when I am focused on what is happening and less focused on what is not happening. I get entirely too focused on what is not happening in my life and then miss what is happening in my life. I am learning that there is more to life than what I see sometimes. Life is always changing and there are always things happening in my life. My life is very different than I thought it would be as a younger person. I am finding out all sorts of things about myself and what is important to me. I am not really sure where I am going in my life YET, but I do have a sense of the direction I am heading in. I am not lost and I am making wonderful time. ;) I do sense there is some direction I am heading. I am making a decision to take the road kinda less traveled. I am not where I will be in the future and I am not where I was in the past. I am actually very happy with where my life is going. I am learning that all we have is the present and that is what is most important. That takes away that sense of urgency that I feel sometimes and that I am uncomfortable with. It is not a race, nor do we have to have all the answers. We do not have to have it all laid out. It is okay to have uncertainty and mystery in our lives. I can be free of doubt, fear, confusion regarding my life if I so choose. I am finding the teachers in my life are very helpful in this direction. It just seems like life is more fun when I don’t have that sense of urgency, of I have to know everything and everything has to be all planned out. It is okay to "play it by ear" and let the universe have some say in how it all turns out. ;) I have made a list of things I want to focus on but am detaching from how it is all goin to work out. I just know that it will work out. I want to be happy and help others and allow others to help me. I want to grow and evolved into who I am supposed to be. I sometimes forget that I am a spirit evolving in human form. We all are and there is much goin on that we do not see or touch or feel with our five senses. Magic truly is afoot! There is alot goin on in this world and I am but a small part of it. We are all small parts but very important parts. We all play a part. Like Shakespeare said "all the worlds a stage and we are merely players" But we are an integral part of it. What we do is important, what we think is important and how we react or act with each other is important. It is very simple and yet for some reason kinda hard for some of us. How easy it is to give to others and yet how often do we do it? I am learning much from reading Ernest Holmes and Deepak Chopra and don Miguel Ruiz and Bill Wilson and others who have a unique understanding of how life and its players play the game. I am learning to give rather than take, not take myself so seriously, see myself as a part of instead apart from and how to be of service to others, anyone who reaches out to me in any way. My teachers are from all over the place these days. I am getting so many messages and lessons but the most important message is LOVE! Love for myself, for others and for all sentient beings whether that is rocks and trees or the planet or animals or whatever. Love is the reason for living and it is important that we spread it to everyone not just those closest to us. It all begins within but needs to radiate outwards. So my fellow travelers how do we spread the love and create the love we want? We start with ourselves and open our hearts! It is like the Beatles said "all you need is love" Everything starts with a thought followed by action. I once heard that Love is a verb, and that Love is an Action. There is even a song by Todd Rundgren and Utopia called Love in Action. I have learned recently that there are many ways to express and show love. Some of the simplest actions show the most. I have recently been shown love by these simple actions. The touch of a hand, the smile on the face of a baby, kindness and generosity to others, and just doing something nice for someone else. There is a great book on this subject that I would highly recommend. It is called "The Power of Kindness/The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life" by Piero Ferrucci. It explores 18 different aspects of Kindness and how it can change life as we know it. As the Dalai Lama has said "kindness is my religion" Soooooo my fellow travelers, today is about love and kindness. If you read this today or in the future remember 3 things: #1 Love Yourself and Others, #2 Be kind to yourself and others and last but not leastly #3 Have FUN!!! It is essential to do these three things on a daily basis. Enjoy the journey and talk with YOU soon! Namaste, Peace and Love, Sam
__________________________________________________
Learn more about LIFESTYLE CHANGES at
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

LIFESTYLE CHANGES is a proud Pioneer Member of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION: http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com