While On Life's Journey.....

SAM is one of the souls I have been privileged to meet along my life's journey. As we walk on the same path together, I have invited Sam to be a guest blogger with the hope that he will realize his spirit, inspire others, and recognize his purpose. This is his journey. Your comments will be forwarded to him from MaxFabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com

Sam IX...Where now?

Well life continues to entertain, perplex, astound and amaze me! I never seem to know what is going on. Change truly is the only constant in life it seems. Just when I thought I knew what was going to happen in my job situation, it changes and I am back to being "unemployed". One of the many in this country and around the world. I have been reading some stuff that lets me know that there is a plan in all of this and that whatever happens it is not personal. I have been reading Ernest Holmes, Don Miguel Ruiz and others and am getting the messages that life is moving in its intended directions and about the only thing I have control over is how I choose to react to it, how I choose to think about things and what do I want to create in my life. Reading the book "the four agreements" opened my mind to how serious I take myself and my life sometimes. How important I think I am sometimes or how focused I get on my own little problems. How I take things so personally sometimes. Sometimes I just think of myself way too much. I once heard that humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less. I also gleaned from the book that we as a species make way too many assumptions and do not communicate enough sometimes about what we are thinking. We take the easy, lazy way out and just read in and assume we know what is going on or what someone means by a certain thing. Don Miguel equates this to most of the problems in the world. Our assumptions and taking everything too personally. The human species sometimes gets so wrapped up in itself. And I am no different for sure. He goes on to talk about how we need to be impeccable with our word and to do our best. Being impeccable means many things. It means doing what you say and also being aware of how you use your words, i.e., gossiping and rumors. We can all improve on that one I am sure. And as for doing our best, sometimes I forget that I am doing my best because I am so hard on myself and am such a harsh critic. I forget that I am a spiritual being having a human experience and therefore are not that familiar with this human life. ;) I need to cut myself some slack. I once saw a bumper sticker that said "if you are having fun you are doing it right" Sometimes I forget that and get so caught up in the whole seriousness of life that I miss the real meaning of LIFE! I remember reading a long time ago in a book by Carlos Castaneda a quote that has stayed with me for over 20 years. Don Juan is telling him that he takes himself to seriously. That quote really resonated with me then and it still does now. I forget to see the beauty in the simple. It also reminds me of the Buddhist mantra Om mani padme hum....the jewel in the lotus and all the beautiful things there are in the simple mundane everyday things in life. As I look out the window at the sunshine, the trees, the wind, the smile on a child’s face I get reminded of what is really important in life. It is not in the acquisition of wealth or "success". It is in the beauty of life in the moment acknowledging the miracle of life. Acknowledging the fact that life is precious and fragile and no one knows what is going to happen or for how long yet we continue to trudge along the path. Trudge btw means to walk with a purpose not to drag your feet in misery and suffering. ;) Today I choose to trudge with my head up so that I can see all the beauty in life and also so I can be ready to meet the challenges and help create a better world. I remember a quote from Gandhi that goes something like this..."even if what you do feels insignificant it is important that you do it." I also like another quote from him that goes..."you must be the change you want to see in the world". Soooo fellow travelers it is up to us. What do we want to create today?

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Learn more about LIFESTYLE CHANGES at
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

LIFESTYLE CHANGES is a proud Pioneer Member of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION: http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

SAM is one of the souls I have been privileged to meet along my life's journey. As we walk on the same path together, I have invited Sam to be a guest blogger with the hope that he will realize his spirit, inspire others, and recognize his purpose. This is his journey. Your comments will be forwarded to him from MaxFabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com
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Health and more?

Well the physical side of things are progressing nicely. The three month free membership at the gym is about to expire so I had to make a decision about whether I wanted to continue to work out at the gym or find another gym or do something different regarding my physical health area. I decided to stay at the gym I am at. It seems to be a good place to work out and focus my attention on staying healthy and taking care of my body, mind and spirit. I have decided also to sit in on some classes in the coming weeks to see if that will fit into my schedule. I was thinking maybe a yoga class or two and/or maybe an aikido class or two. I have taken martial arts classes before as well as yoga and have enjoyed them very much but for whatever reason, money, time...etc. it seems as if i do not stick with them for long. I enjoy the movement and the feeling of power that comes from doing things like this. Plus I just like learning new things and meeting people who enjoy the same things. I can do Yoga and martial arts alone but it seems more powerful and uplifting when I do it with others. Also it is good to have instruction, someone to see things that I dong see. I have found that to be important in other areas of my life as well. I was talking with a friend the other day and was remarking about how my eyesight has changed and it occurred to me that my vision has changed in other areas as to what is really important and what is a priority in my life today. I don’t see things the way I used to, nor do I see things the same way. My physical eyesight has changed with my age but then so has my other eyesight. I just am learning to look at things differently and not wear the glasses that were given me when I was younger. It is as if I have a new pair of glasses for my life in general. I did not used to see things like this. I do not know if this is a new development because of focusing on my physical and mental and emotional and spiritual health but hey it is something that is occurring in my life today and I am aware of the change and have made a decision to act on what I am newly "seeing". My physical, emotional, mental and spiritual self has undergone a lot of changes in the last year as have other areas of my life. It is an interesting road I am trudging, walking, running and sometimes just sitting on and watching. I have noticed a lot of things changing in myself not just physically although that is easy enough to see. My health is getting better in all areas and it is becoming more important to me. I look back on my life in the past six months and notice all the things that I have changed and realize that I have begun to love myself and want the best for myself. I have also begun to realize that what is best for me is not what I might have thought it was a few short days, months, years ago. I am heading in a new direction. One of being healthy in all areas and that means changing even more things in all areas of my life. I am surrounding myself with healthy and happy people who support me and who I can support also. It is kinda like a healing community and one that I am looking forward to nourishing and helping to grow. Anyway health for me is something that is very important and one that encompasses all areas of my life not just the physical side. I am very happy that I am learning more about health in all these areas. I am very grateful that I have teachers today. It is a little bit different than healthy class when I was a young boy, but I still remember and practice some of those lessons too. Eat right, get plenty of exercise and rest and don’t forget to brush your teeth. My dad would love to hear that one. He was a dentist. ;) Anyway health is important and it comes in all areas of life. I am a healthy happy man today and I want to stay that way. Take care all and I will talk with you more in my next blog on LOVE. A preview of upcoming blogs.....The woman of my dreams is moving up here on Friday....Yep lots of feelings goin on with that one. Stay tuned for the next episode of Sam in Transition, walking the path to health happiness and hmmmmm who knows what else is out there for me. Anyway stay tuned readers the best is yet to come. Peace, Namaste and love to all.
Take care,
Sam
__________________________________________________
Learn more about LIFESTYLE CHANGES at
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

LIFESTYLE CHANGES is a proud Pioneer Member of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION: http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

SAM is one of the souls I have been privileged to meet along my life's journey. As we walk on the same path together, I have invited Sam to be a guest blogger with the hope that he will realize his spirit, inspire others, and recognize his purpose. This is his journey. Your comments will be forwarded to him from MaxFabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com
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The Continuing Tale of Sam

Well last time I wrote many things were happening in the life of Sam. There are still a lot of things happening but it is interesting in the way the Universe always seems to be changing things to keep us on our toes. Lets start with Career and see where that goes.

Well I found out last Wednesday that the restaurant that I am working in will be closing in two weeks that the last day for us to be open would be the 19th. I found out the official date yesterday, this barring any sort of miracle. They had been trying to sell the restaurant but so far the attempts had not been successful. One person wanted to buy it but the owner of the building did not like them or something like that and then another person wanted to take it over, but the owner did not like the name of their other business and so was not sure about them. Well I found out yesterday as I was leaving from work that the deal has gone through and the new owner/manager will be taking over, but it is all sketchy as to when that is going to officially start. So I was under the impression that I was going to be looking for work again and now I am not sure. The deal was that all the staff would be retained so it looks like I have a job, but the way things have been changing so much in this area, I am keeping a pretty open mind to all the possibilities and am not getting too attached to any type of outcome yet. This job has really taught me a lot about change and how fast and how often it can occur in life. So I guess I have learned something from the experience. It has also taught me a lot about how I react to change and stress and what I can indeed handle as far as all the changes and stress in my life. I am still looking around for other options and career paths. The other job that I was talking about in my last career blog is still a possibility and there are still some things to be worked out. I spoke with the Manager of that program and she assured me she would call me back in a "couple of days" but did not hear back from her. She also informed me that the job was still available to me so I know that will work out if we can just work out the paperwork aspect. So I am not really sure where I am heading in this area, but I know that I am just following where the Universe seems to be leading me. I also have been thinking of several other options some shorter term and some longer term that would make use of my various skills in the counseling field, the culinary field and the spiritual/metaphysical field. As a friend recently reminded me I am a spiritual being having a human experience. With that in mind I proceed each day with a new outlook on the experiences I am having. I am being more open to what is being presented to me and staying open to where I need to go and how it is going to manifest and occur. I hold onto less expectations of how, when and where the outcomes will take place, preferring to just be open to them occurring and being aware of what feels "right". Well faithful reader this is where my journey takes me on the career path. I will write more as it occurs. Next blog will explore the areas of love and health and any other interesting topics. Hope you are well and on the path that feels "right" to you. If not blaze your own trail and find that path of inner wisdom that serves you and the rest of your fellow spiritual travelers. Take care and be well, Namaste, and Peace,
Sam
__________________________________________________
Learn more about LIFESTYLE CHANGES at
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

LIFESTYLE CHANGES is a proud Pioneer Member of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION: http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
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Dear MAx,
HELP! I am SO OVERWHLEMED with life! I am trying to balance all the responsibilities and things that people ask of me. My family, friends, employer, bill collectors, landlords! How do you get everything done in a day?!! The more I try, the more I don’t seem to get anything completed.

Janet

Dear Janet,
What a great timely question. “Overwhelmed” seems to be a theme with many people these days. Not only are people trying to deal with everyday life, this is the time of year that graduations, weddings, summer vacations, etc, compound everything else that is going on.

The problem with being overwhelmed for a period of time leads to stress which leads to depression, which leads to the breakdown of the body as well as the mind. Let’s look at some ways to deal with being so overwhelmed.

First things first: you need to examine how you are taking care of your self. Are you getting the sleep, exercise, diet, and self-time that you need to be healthy and to think clearly? If you aren’t thinking clearly, it will be a challenge to accept the rest of these suggestions.

In order to balance everything going on in your life, you first need to define what “balance” means to you. Which of these things are more important to you to address each day: work, family, play, self? I am hoping “self” is number one.

Once you have your priorities in order, under each one make a list of things you absolutely need to accomplish each day. For example, Family: get the kids off to school, grocery shopping, meals….Work: Eight hours at office….Self: Exercise, playtime. When you get this list completed you can get a good idea how much time you need to spend each day to address important things in your life.

Now you have to put systems into place to build structure that will get everything done. Here are a couple things to consider as you are building your systems and structures. First, eliminate clutter. Feng Shui your home and office to get rid of things you don’t need and to design a relaxing atmosphere for yourself. Curtail overspending, it is just a way of procrastinating on what you really need to be doing to stay within a stress-free structure. And, stop scheduling activities you don’t really want to do. Time-suckers keep us non-productive and overwhelmed.

I have found multi-tasking works for me because I have learned the art of being in the “now”. Whenever I am doing a task whether it is talking with someone or working on a piece of a project, my full attention is right there—not in the past of what I didn’t get done, nor in the future of what I have to do. Being in the now reduces stress and allows me to fully experience the moment.

Finally, Janet, remember that you are not alone. Exchange ideas with friends about how they balance their time. There are also professional organizers that can get you started on defining your balance, building systems, and reducing the clutter in your life.

It comes down to prioritizing, making lists, taking action, being in the now, letting go of the idea of being an over achiever, and accepting that you can only do so much in one day. There are only twenty-four hours in each day, and no matter how much we get done or don’t get done, our TR (Time Remaining) continues to tick down. What is really important for you to address today?
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Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.

SAM is one of the souls I have been privileged to meet along my life's journey. As we walk on the same path together, I have invited Sam to be a guest blogger with the hope that he will realize his spirit, inspire others, and recognize his purpose. This is his journey. Your comments will be forwarded to him from MaxFabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com
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Well last time I wrote many things were happening in the life of Sam. There are still a lot of things happening but it is interesting in the way the Universe always seems to be changing things to keep us on our toes. Lets start with Career and see where that goes.

Well I found out last Wednesday that the restaurant that I am working in will be closing in two weeks that the last day for us to be open would be the 19th. I found out the official date yesterday, this barring any sort of miracle. They had been trying to sell the restaurant but so far the attempts had not been successful. One person wanted to buy it but the owner of the building did not like them or something like that and then another person wanted to take it over, but the owner did not like the name of their other business and so was not sure about them. Well I found out yesterday as I was leaving from work that the deal has gone through and the new owner/manager will be taking over, but it is all sketchy as to when that is going to officially start. So I was under the impression that I was going to be looking for work again and now I am not sure. The deal was that all the staff would be retained so it looks like I have a job, but the way things have been changing so much in this area, I am keeping a pretty open mind to all the possibilities and am not getting too attached to any type of outcome yet. This job has really taught me a lot about change and how fast and how often it can occur in life. So I guess I have learned something from the experience. It has also taught me a lot about how I react to change and stress and what I can indeed handle as far as all the changes and stress in my life. I am still looking around for other options and career paths. The other job that I was talking about in my last career blog is still a possibility and there are still some things to be worked out. I spoke with the Manager of that program and she assured me she would call me back in a "couple of days" but did not hear back from her. She also informed me that the job was still available to me so I know that will work out if we can just work out the paperwork aspect. So I am not really sure where I am heading in this area, but I know that I am just following where the Universe seems to be leading me. I also have been thinking of several other options some shorter term and some longer term that would make use of my various skills in the counseling field, the culinary field and the spiritual/metaphysical field. As a friend recently reminded me I am a spiritual being having a human experience. With that in mind I proceed each day with a new outlook on the experiences I am having. I am being more open to what is being presented to me and staying open to where I need to go and how it is going to manifest and occur. I hold onto less expectations of how, when and where the outcomes will take place, preferring to just be open to them occurring and being aware of what feels "right". Well faithful reader this is where my journey takes me on the career path. I will write more as it occurs. Next blog will explore the areas of love and health and any other interesting topics. Hope you are well and on the path that feels "right" to you. If not blaze your own trail and find that path of inner wisdom that serves you and the rest of your fellow spiritual travelers. Take care and be well, Namaste, and Peace,
Sam
__________________________________________________
Learn more about LIFESTYLE CHANGES at
http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com

LIFESTYLE CHANGES is a proud Pioneer Member of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION: http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

The following is a comment from a reader regarding the May 28, 2009 blog on Cookie Cutter Treatment
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Hi Max,
Your article was wonderful. The words were clear and percise. AA is not for everyone and your words about AA being a anonymous program so how can you research it will be a new aha thought for those that read your column. While AA is a useful program that brings hope to many, it was good that you mentioned that we do know more about mental illness and the brain connection. I would have liked a few more sentences about the brain and why that is important. Your article was both broad and specific. You covered the general gist of what you wanted to say and the specificity of recovering as being three tiered was good followed with your conclusion of contacting a addiction counselor to help with the transitioning. Your style of writing is factual and human at the same time. You give the reader information without making them feel that they have to do something; just the facts and when they are ready they can email you with a comment or question.
This is a very good avenue for you to communicate and guide people on their way Max.
Much love,
Susan

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I thank Susan very much for taking the time to provide this feedback. I am interested in what YOU have to say about my blog entries. You don't have to agree with me, you may want to share your experience, of course, kudos keep me writing............MAx Fabry

Learn more about me at: http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com