Archives for: February 2009
02/20/09
PRESCRIPTION DRUG ABUSE
MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
My husband says that he has been in recovery from prescription drugs for almost two years. It is still really difficult for me to trust that he isn’t using, or planning on using. Whenever we go to visit family or friends I worry about whether he is going through their medicine cabinets. When he goes to see the doctor I worry that he is trying to get drugs. When he is on the computer I worry about him ordering drugs from online. Because of his addiction we almost lost everything that we have worked for, and I have seen little remorse from him that he is even aware how he has endangered the welfare of our family. I am getting exhausted watching and wondering about if he is using again. How can I be sure he isn’t using?
Phyllis
Dear Phyllis,
Thank you for bringing the growing problem of prescription drug abuse to the attention of my readers. As you have experienced, this addiction is insidious, negatively impacting the welfare of the family. Prescription drugs, particularly pain medications, have become the second most prevalent illegal drug problem. This unfortunate epidemic spreads across generations from teens to aging baby boomers.
Once an addict stops using and enters ‘recovery’, the family lets out a sigh of relief and immediately wants things to go back to ‘normal’. It is important for family members to be able to balance between denial and awareness. The denial is when loved ones want to pretend that the drug abuse never happened and “just put it behind us”. Drug abuse is a vicious cycle that can cause changes in the brain with the possibility of the addict developing stronger impulses to use. Family members need to educate themselves on the signs, symptoms, and effects of abusing prescription drugs. The National Institute on Drug Abuse website offers this information. You know your husband as well as anyone so you can probably detect differences in his behavior and moods when you know what to look for.
Recovery for drug addiction is an ongoing process involving behavioral and, sometimes, pharmacological treatment. While there are medications available to help addicts overcome withdrawal symptoms and drug cravings, people learn to function without abusing substances with behavioral treatments. Please keep in mind that many addicts in recovery may experience depressed moods for as long as a year or more.
It is important that you are taking care of yourself during your husband’s recovery. Focusing your attention and energy on whether or not your husband is using again, may distract you from what is important in your life. Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship. Educating yourself with the information provided above, attending support groups to hear how other loved ones are dealing with the problem, and seeking both individual and couples counseling may help you better understand the problem of prescription addiction.
How can you be sure he isn’t using, Phyllis? Short of having him take a drug test whenever you suspect he is using, you may never be sure. Working on building a foundation of mutual trust and honesty may work better to return your family to your normal.
Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nestor, etc, ‘ASK MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry at http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com
MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
My husband says that he has been in recovery from prescription drugs for almost two years. It is still really difficult for me to trust that he isn’t using, or planning on using. Whenever we go to visit family or friends I worry about whether he is going through their medicine cabinets. When he goes to see the doctor I worry that he is trying to get drugs. When he is on the computer I worry about him ordering drugs from online. Because of his addiction we almost lost everything that we have worked for, and I have seen little remorse from him that he is even aware how he has endangered the welfare of our family. I am getting exhausted watching and wondering about if he is using again. How can I be sure he isn’t using?
Phyllis
Dear Phyllis,
Thank you for bringing the growing problem of prescription drug abuse to the attention of my readers. As you have experienced, this addiction is insidious, negatively impacting the welfare of the family. Prescription drugs, particularly pain medications, have become the second most prevalent illegal drug problem. This unfortunate epidemic spreads across generations from teens to aging baby boomers.
Once an addict stops using and enters ‘recovery’, the family lets out a sigh of relief and immediately wants things to go back to ‘normal’. It is important for family members to be able to balance between denial and awareness. The denial is when loved ones want to pretend that the drug abuse never happened and “just put it behind us”. Drug abuse is a vicious cycle that can cause changes in the brain with the possibility of the addict developing stronger impulses to use. Family members need to educate themselves on the signs, symptoms, and effects of abusing prescription drugs. The National Institute on Drug Abuse website offers this information. You know your husband as well as anyone so you can probably detect differences in his behavior and moods when you know what to look for.
Recovery for drug addiction is an ongoing process involving behavioral and, sometimes, pharmacological treatment. While there are medications available to help addicts overcome withdrawal symptoms and drug cravings, people learn to function without abusing substances with behavioral treatments. Please keep in mind that many addicts in recovery may experience depressed moods for as long as a year or more.
It is important that you are taking care of yourself during your husband’s recovery. Focusing your attention and energy on whether or not your husband is using again, may distract you from what is important in your life. Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship. Educating yourself with the information provided above, attending support groups to hear how other loved ones are dealing with the problem, and seeking both individual and couples counseling may help you better understand the problem of prescription addiction.
How can you be sure he isn’t using, Phyllis? Short of having him take a drug test whenever you suspect he is using, you may never be sure. Working on building a foundation of mutual trust and honesty may work better to return your family to your normal.
Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nestor, etc, ‘ASK MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry at http://www.lifestylechangescounseling.com
02/19/09
EMOTIONAL ABUSE
MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
The other day my 14-year-old son came to me and said, “I hate that you let dad abuse you.” I was shocked hearing the word “abuse” coming from my son in regards to his father. My husband has never hit either my son or me. My son said that he was talking about how his father screamed, shouted, harassed, and humiliated people, particularly us, to get his way. My husband is a good provider, loves us, and, yes, does get emotional at times saying things that I am sure he regrets later. I believe this behavior is just a carry over from his own childhood. How can I convince my son I am not abused?
Paula
Dear Paula,
What if your son is right? What if you are being abused? EMOTIONALLY ABUSED, that is. Many people think that if there are no marks or bruises from physical lashing out, then there is no abuse. WRONG!
What we know about physical abuse connected with domestic violence is: that a woman is battered in the U.S. approximately every nine seconds; domestic violence cases contribute to more injured women then muggings and car accidents combined; even though domestic violence is the most underreported crime, it occurs in 60% of marriages.
Emotional abuse, on the other hand, is difficult to track. Emotional abuse is very underreported because of the myth that if there are not bruises and/or marks, there is no abuse. Experts have yet come to a clear definition of what constitutes emotional abuse. What experts do agree on is that, like physical and sexual abuse, emotional abuse is based on power and control. Forms of emotional abuse manifest through rejection, isolating, overly jealous and possessive, terrorizing, degrading, emotional deprivation, corrupting and/or exploiting.
Consider these factors as possible indicators of emotional abuse:
-depression -trust issues -health issues with no basis
-withdrawal -stealing -feelings of shame and guild
-low self-esteem -spontaneous crying -overly passive
-sleep problems -substance abuse -avoid eye contact
-suicidal thoughts -aggression -self-depreciation
If you are ready to consider that you are being emotionally abused, know that no one ever deserves to be abused in any manner. It is not your fault that this is happening to you and your children; you are not causing the abuse. You are not alone; others are starting to openly talk about this serious issue. Help is available.
Paula, you mentioned that your husband’s “behavior is just a carry over from his own childhood.” These are issues that he needs to address in individual counseling. But, more importantly, your 14-year-old son is being influenced to repeat the same behavior. Sadly, 90% of battered women reported that their children were present during the domestic violence; so, not surprisingly, 25%-30% of adolescent relationships are also abusive relationships, then grow up to abuse their spouses and children. As an adolescent, your son is learning to be a couple by watching how you and your husband interact. Just as your husband learned from his parents, your son is learning his parents. The fact that your son brought your “abuse” to light is his way of reaching out for things to change in the family. What a great kid you have!
Changing the family doesn’t necessarily mean breaking the family up. There are so many good therapists available to help with individual—adult and adolescent--and family therapy. Therapists work with their clients to identify what the problems are, identify factors that contribute to those problems, then work on giving clients tools, strategies, to be able to reach a positive outcome.
Dear readers, if you suspect, or know, someone is being emotionally and/or physically abused take time to listen, to validate what is happening, offer support: “What can I do to help?” Know services available to support the person, such as child welfare or family services contact information; transition house or shelters; health professionals including therapists. And, remember, it is a moral obligation for every person to report suspected or know child abuse or neglect to a child welfare agency or to the police.
________________________________________________
Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.
MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
The other day my 14-year-old son came to me and said, “I hate that you let dad abuse you.” I was shocked hearing the word “abuse” coming from my son in regards to his father. My husband has never hit either my son or me. My son said that he was talking about how his father screamed, shouted, harassed, and humiliated people, particularly us, to get his way. My husband is a good provider, loves us, and, yes, does get emotional at times saying things that I am sure he regrets later. I believe this behavior is just a carry over from his own childhood. How can I convince my son I am not abused?
Paula
Dear Paula,
What if your son is right? What if you are being abused? EMOTIONALLY ABUSED, that is. Many people think that if there are no marks or bruises from physical lashing out, then there is no abuse. WRONG!
What we know about physical abuse connected with domestic violence is: that a woman is battered in the U.S. approximately every nine seconds; domestic violence cases contribute to more injured women then muggings and car accidents combined; even though domestic violence is the most underreported crime, it occurs in 60% of marriages.
Emotional abuse, on the other hand, is difficult to track. Emotional abuse is very underreported because of the myth that if there are not bruises and/or marks, there is no abuse. Experts have yet come to a clear definition of what constitutes emotional abuse. What experts do agree on is that, like physical and sexual abuse, emotional abuse is based on power and control. Forms of emotional abuse manifest through rejection, isolating, overly jealous and possessive, terrorizing, degrading, emotional deprivation, corrupting and/or exploiting.
Consider these factors as possible indicators of emotional abuse:
-depression -trust issues -health issues with no basis
-withdrawal -stealing -feelings of shame and guild
-low self-esteem -spontaneous crying -overly passive
-sleep problems -substance abuse -avoid eye contact
-suicidal thoughts -aggression -self-depreciation
If you are ready to consider that you are being emotionally abused, know that no one ever deserves to be abused in any manner. It is not your fault that this is happening to you and your children; you are not causing the abuse. You are not alone; others are starting to openly talk about this serious issue. Help is available.
Paula, you mentioned that your husband’s “behavior is just a carry over from his own childhood.” These are issues that he needs to address in individual counseling. But, more importantly, your 14-year-old son is being influenced to repeat the same behavior. Sadly, 90% of battered women reported that their children were present during the domestic violence; so, not surprisingly, 25%-30% of adolescent relationships are also abusive relationships, then grow up to abuse their spouses and children. As an adolescent, your son is learning to be a couple by watching how you and your husband interact. Just as your husband learned from his parents, your son is learning his parents. The fact that your son brought your “abuse” to light is his way of reaching out for things to change in the family. What a great kid you have!
Changing the family doesn’t necessarily mean breaking the family up. There are so many good therapists available to help with individual—adult and adolescent--and family therapy. Therapists work with their clients to identify what the problems are, identify factors that contribute to those problems, then work on giving clients tools, strategies, to be able to reach a positive outcome.
Dear readers, if you suspect, or know, someone is being emotionally and/or physically abused take time to listen, to validate what is happening, offer support: “What can I do to help?” Know services available to support the person, such as child welfare or family services contact information; transition house or shelters; health professionals including therapists. And, remember, it is a moral obligation for every person to report suspected or know child abuse or neglect to a child welfare agency or to the police.
________________________________________________
Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.
02/18/09
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
I am interested in knowing how to deal with the emptiness and lack of drive when your last child has moved out.
Janice
Dear Janice,
Your letter didn’t offer too much about your situation other then you are suffering from “empty nest syndrome”. Whether you are part of a couple that has been parenting together, or have had the daunting responsibility as a single parent, when the last child moves out, you have entered the twilight zone of life which involves “getting to know yourself” again.
Even though men are affected by empty nest syndrome, women are more likely to experience this life transition more strongly. Children leaving home usually coincides with other significant events happening in a woman’s life: menopause, caring for elderly parents, pre-retirement planning, changes in appearance and energy. Even without having children to leave home, this is the time of life that women are starting to move from their caring of others stage of life into their own wisdom.
Most importantly, you have experienced a series of major losses in your life: your child(ren) out of the house leaving empty room(s) with many memories; being the “mom” always there to prepare meals, complain about dirty clothes all over, lovingly listening and guiding. You are no longer the maid, the counselor, the chauffeur, the event planner; you have lost all these roles. These are all losses that you experienced as your last child walked out of your front door and into their own front door. These losses can bring up feelings of sadness and a disorientation, which if not addressed, can turn into depression. Feeling ‘sad’ is normal for this transitional life event.
Unfortunately, if the event of the child leaving home was hostile, full of drama and chaos, this grief can result in severe depression. Monitoring your reactions and how long the grieving period extends is important to help you regain a sense of self. If you find yourself crying excessively, you are feeling that you are no longer useful, you isolate from family and friends, and/or you are missing work, consider seeking professional help to help to reground yourself.
If the separation of the child leaving home was healthy, after an appropriate time of identifying and grieving through the losses, you will embrace a new sense of independence, begin to redefine a new identity with a different sense of purpose, and develop a confident sense of happiness and joy. You may even decide to downsize your living space, redecorate your home, or repurpose the vacated room.
Consider these suggestions for recovering from empty nest syndrome:
-Take time to acknowledge and experience the grief and losses happening in your life. Seek professional help if you are unable to work the grief through yourself.
-Honor the awesome mom role you have fulfilled, and embrace the new role that you will now start to create.
-Work on developing an adult-adult relationship with your child(ren): set new boundaries, create new traditions, communicate with love and nonjudgement.
-Redirect the time, money, and energy you used parenting toward redefining your own life: explore hobbies, leisure activities, career pursuits, educational opportunities, and, if you have a spouse, get to know him again.
As you can see, Janice, just as seasons change, human beings transition from one life point to another. You seem to be stuck in a twilight zone of your summer season that is disorientating to you. Don’t be afraid, step into your autumn to get acquainted with the new you: a time that is warm, colorful, and, now with your life experiences and accumulated wisdom, the possibilities are endless.
Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com
MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
I am interested in knowing how to deal with the emptiness and lack of drive when your last child has moved out.
Janice
Dear Janice,
Your letter didn’t offer too much about your situation other then you are suffering from “empty nest syndrome”. Whether you are part of a couple that has been parenting together, or have had the daunting responsibility as a single parent, when the last child moves out, you have entered the twilight zone of life which involves “getting to know yourself” again.
Even though men are affected by empty nest syndrome, women are more likely to experience this life transition more strongly. Children leaving home usually coincides with other significant events happening in a woman’s life: menopause, caring for elderly parents, pre-retirement planning, changes in appearance and energy. Even without having children to leave home, this is the time of life that women are starting to move from their caring of others stage of life into their own wisdom.
Most importantly, you have experienced a series of major losses in your life: your child(ren) out of the house leaving empty room(s) with many memories; being the “mom” always there to prepare meals, complain about dirty clothes all over, lovingly listening and guiding. You are no longer the maid, the counselor, the chauffeur, the event planner; you have lost all these roles. These are all losses that you experienced as your last child walked out of your front door and into their own front door. These losses can bring up feelings of sadness and a disorientation, which if not addressed, can turn into depression. Feeling ‘sad’ is normal for this transitional life event.
Unfortunately, if the event of the child leaving home was hostile, full of drama and chaos, this grief can result in severe depression. Monitoring your reactions and how long the grieving period extends is important to help you regain a sense of self. If you find yourself crying excessively, you are feeling that you are no longer useful, you isolate from family and friends, and/or you are missing work, consider seeking professional help to help to reground yourself.
If the separation of the child leaving home was healthy, after an appropriate time of identifying and grieving through the losses, you will embrace a new sense of independence, begin to redefine a new identity with a different sense of purpose, and develop a confident sense of happiness and joy. You may even decide to downsize your living space, redecorate your home, or repurpose the vacated room.
Consider these suggestions for recovering from empty nest syndrome:
-Take time to acknowledge and experience the grief and losses happening in your life. Seek professional help if you are unable to work the grief through yourself.
-Honor the awesome mom role you have fulfilled, and embrace the new role that you will now start to create.
-Work on developing an adult-adult relationship with your child(ren): set new boundaries, create new traditions, communicate with love and nonjudgement.
-Redirect the time, money, and energy you used parenting toward redefining your own life: explore hobbies, leisure activities, career pursuits, educational opportunities, and, if you have a spouse, get to know him again.
As you can see, Janice, just as seasons change, human beings transition from one life point to another. You seem to be stuck in a twilight zone of your summer season that is disorientating to you. Don’t be afraid, step into your autumn to get acquainted with the new you: a time that is warm, colorful, and, now with your life experiences and accumulated wisdom, the possibilities are endless.
Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com
02/17/09
METH ADDICTS: ADDICT FOR LIFE?
MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
I have seven years sobriety in N.A., until recently. Over this last summer I decided I needed to answer the question “can I drink socially?” My addiction was a two year addiction to methamphetamine and, as you know, a highly addictive drug. I never drank alcohol, just went right to methamphetamine. My question is can a person become addicted to a strong drug like methamphetamine for a short period of time but not be a “drug addict” for life? Is NA right that “we are not normal”? Will I always have to steer clear of alcohol?
April
Dear April,
First, congratulations on seven years of being free of the insidious methamphetamine addition. And, also, for being wise enough to utilize Narcotics Anonymous (N.A.) as a support for your recovery efforts. I believe the question you are asking is “If I am a drug addict, am I also an alcoholic?”
Narcotics Anonymous started in the 1950’s, modeling their 12-step program from the Alcoholics Anonymous’ program. The word “alcohol” was replaced with “addiction” to refocus the purpose. The first official NA pamphlet, The White Booklet, described NA as “a nonprofit fellowship or society of men and women for whom drugs had become a major problem…we are not interested in what or how much you used…but only in what you want to do about your problem and how we can help.” NA is now found worldwide; meetings can be found on the internet or through local “Help lines”. This is a great resource for addicts to begin their recovery.
According to the National Institute of Drug Abuse, over 10 million people in the United States have tried methamphetamine at least once. It is one of the fastest drugs to become addicted to. It is a stimulant drug that affects the central nervous system and can significantly change brain functions, including: memory problems, emotional functions, motor performance, and other cognitive problems. This insidious drug not only leads to devastating medical, psychological, and social consequences to individuals, it is also devastating to society in terms of increased crime, unemployment, child neglect and/or abuse, and other social costs. Methamphetamine requires as much as two years of abstinence treatment in order to have some of the physical changes reversed. Research is ongoing to find more effective treatments for methamphetamine abuse. What is clear is that, in addition to support groups, additional long-term cognitive treatment needs to be part of the recovery plan, as well as medical intervention to address the recovery process.
What we know about alcoholism also continues to evolve through research. The eMedicine website reports “that over 13% of adults in the US will experience alcohol abuse or dependence at some point in their lives.” One definition provided by the Journal of American Medicine defines alcoholism as “a primary chronic disease”; this was the definition coined early in the 20th century, and one of the cornerstones of the 12-step movement. Like methamphetamine addiction, alcoholism significantly affects individuals physically, emotionally, and spiritually, in addition to affecting every aspect of family and social structure. Addiction professionals are beginning to look closer at the newest research to address a continuum of severity starting with no use, use, misuse, heavy use, abuse, addiction, and dependence to assess drinking habits. Among professional debates of the origination and severity are: alcoholism is linked to brain dopamine pathways, physical allergic reactions, genetic predisposition, or spiritual disorientations. Treatment of alcoholism also continues to evolve addressing the mind, body, and spirit of the individual, and is starting to combine traditional medical, psychological, sociological, alternative, and community support models.
Medicinenet.com defines “addiction” as “a chronic relapsing condition characterized by compulsive drug-seeking and abuse…long-lasting chemical changes in the brain…whether the drug is alcohol, amphetamines, cocaine, heroin, marijuana, or nicotine.” Behaviorists argue that the characteristics of the addictions listed in this definition, also extend to other compulsive disorder conditions such as sex, overeating, shopping, video games, gambling, internet, work, etc. These behaviors affect individuals differently, but with the same devastating consequences found in substance addictions.
Your question, April, is what many drug addicts are curious to know: can I drink alcohol? As a certified addiction counselor, I would have to answer that I do not know whether you, as a recovering methamphetamine addict can, or cannot use alcohol. I believe that more research is needed to hone in on exactly what causes any addiction. Since we don’t know if you can drink alcohol, I would say: remember the hell you went through obtaining the recovery you now have, stay connected to the support and treatment that works for you, always remember that too much of anything can hurt you, and strive to be the healthiest person you can be in mind, body, and spirit.
As for being “normal”, that would be another column: “What is normal?”
_____________________________________________
Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.
MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column "ASK MAx" published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
_____________________________________________
Dear MAx,
I have seven years sobriety in N.A., until recently. Over this last summer I decided I needed to answer the question “can I drink socially?” My addiction was a two year addiction to methamphetamine and, as you know, a highly addictive drug. I never drank alcohol, just went right to methamphetamine. My question is can a person become addicted to a strong drug like methamphetamine for a short period of time but not be a “drug addict” for life? Is NA right that “we are not normal”? Will I always have to steer clear of alcohol?
April
Dear April,
First, congratulations on seven years of being free of the insidious methamphetamine addition. And, also, for being wise enough to utilize Narcotics Anonymous (N.A.) as a support for your recovery efforts. I believe the question you are asking is “If I am a drug addict, am I also an alcoholic?”
Narcotics Anonymous started in the 1950’s, modeling their 12-step program from the Alcoholics Anonymous’ program. The word “alcohol” was replaced with “addiction” to refocus the purpose. The first official NA pamphlet, The White Booklet, described NA as “a nonprofit fellowship or society of men and women for whom drugs had become a major problem…we are not interested in what or how much you used…but only in what you want to do about your problem and how we can help.” NA is now found worldwide; meetings can be found on the internet or through local “Help lines”. This is a great resource for addicts to begin their recovery.
According to the National Institute of Drug Abuse, over 10 million people in the United States have tried methamphetamine at least once. It is one of the fastest drugs to become addicted to. It is a stimulant drug that affects the central nervous system and can significantly change brain functions, including: memory problems, emotional functions, motor performance, and other cognitive problems. This insidious drug not only leads to devastating medical, psychological, and social consequences to individuals, it is also devastating to society in terms of increased crime, unemployment, child neglect and/or abuse, and other social costs. Methamphetamine requires as much as two years of abstinence treatment in order to have some of the physical changes reversed. Research is ongoing to find more effective treatments for methamphetamine abuse. What is clear is that, in addition to support groups, additional long-term cognitive treatment needs to be part of the recovery plan, as well as medical intervention to address the recovery process.
What we know about alcoholism also continues to evolve through research. The eMedicine website reports “that over 13% of adults in the US will experience alcohol abuse or dependence at some point in their lives.” One definition provided by the Journal of American Medicine defines alcoholism as “a primary chronic disease”; this was the definition coined early in the 20th century, and one of the cornerstones of the 12-step movement. Like methamphetamine addiction, alcoholism significantly affects individuals physically, emotionally, and spiritually, in addition to affecting every aspect of family and social structure. Addiction professionals are beginning to look closer at the newest research to address a continuum of severity starting with no use, use, misuse, heavy use, abuse, addiction, and dependence to assess drinking habits. Among professional debates of the origination and severity are: alcoholism is linked to brain dopamine pathways, physical allergic reactions, genetic predisposition, or spiritual disorientations. Treatment of alcoholism also continues to evolve addressing the mind, body, and spirit of the individual, and is starting to combine traditional medical, psychological, sociological, alternative, and community support models.
Medicinenet.com defines “addiction” as “a chronic relapsing condition characterized by compulsive drug-seeking and abuse…long-lasting chemical changes in the brain…whether the drug is alcohol, amphetamines, cocaine, heroin, marijuana, or nicotine.” Behaviorists argue that the characteristics of the addictions listed in this definition, also extend to other compulsive disorder conditions such as sex, overeating, shopping, video games, gambling, internet, work, etc. These behaviors affect individuals differently, but with the same devastating consequences found in substance addictions.
Your question, April, is what many drug addicts are curious to know: can I drink alcohol? As a certified addiction counselor, I would have to answer that I do not know whether you, as a recovering methamphetamine addict can, or cannot use alcohol. I believe that more research is needed to hone in on exactly what causes any addiction. Since we don’t know if you can drink alcohol, I would say: remember the hell you went through obtaining the recovery you now have, stay connected to the support and treatment that works for you, always remember that too much of anything can hurt you, and strive to be the healthiest person you can be in mind, body, and spirit.
As for being “normal”, that would be another column: “What is normal?”
_____________________________________________
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